Autowalas of Chennai

There are a few things in this world that I absolutely detest, one of them being the horrible horrible auto guys. They make me want to scratch their faces with whatever is left of my chewed up nails. Let me take you through some sample experiences I have faced with the moronic autowalas:
Scenario One:
Me:[in high pitched squeals] Auto Auto!
Auto:[slowing down but deliberately stopping way ahead of me]:Enge ponu ma?
(Current location- Beach Station- 2 k.m from Royapuram)
Me:Royapuram
Auto:[contemplating]Fifty rupees madam..
Me: WTF!

Scenario two:
A herd(I say herd because thats what they are, a herd of wild animals) of auto guys surrounding me asking me where I want to go
Multiple Autoguys speaking at once :Sollunge madam
Me: Nungambakkam
Auto 1 to Auto 2 :Ay Nungambakkam poviya
Auto 2 to Auto 3 : Dai Nungambakkam ponu
Auto 3 to Auto 4 : Poriya???
At this point I make my exit giving up all hope. I mean why do they ask if they don't want to go!!

Scenario Three:
Me after agreeing to pay an exorbitant amount to go from Point A to Point B, plonk myself in the auto, unaware of whats in store for me. The auto guy thinks he is out of a Rajnikanth movie, twists, turns, bumps, rips, nearly collides, does all this while speaking on a swanky phone to somebody. I just sit tight in my seat, fervently praying that its not the last ride of my life. :-/

I can go on you know with a whole lot of my traumatic experiences with auto guys, but you get the drift how painful and annoying and frustrating it is to deal with this scum of the world.
Most of these idiots are protected by cops and politicians because they r the ones who own the vehicles. So people who want to commute are simply at their mercy. When we try to pick up a fight, these guys are known to get violent and offensive and even gather a crowd of their own. God! Please tell me you exist and rid teh world of these scumbags.
Phew! Anger vented :)